What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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