what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

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Please? No.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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How many Ethiopian's can you fit in a bathtub? As many as you want, they'd all fall down the drain. JimBoto

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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