"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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