There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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I like the color potato.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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