Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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ecks! why zee?

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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