Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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U mad?

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Feminism.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops