a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

What to hear an anti-joke? No.

what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

2 + 2 = fish

j

A seal walks into a club.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

What's big and long? My dick.

Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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