What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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School

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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autsim

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Ben Corbishley

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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