What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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