A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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why did haris die...............................................his hair blond? .. u

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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