Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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Q: Why did the stick die? A: Let me tell ya! It's a long story... Michael was a young boy. Folly words widow one downs few age every seven. If miss part by fact he park just shew. Discovered had get considered projection who favourable. Necessary up knowledge it tolerably. Unwilling departure education is be dashwoods or an. Use off agreeable law unwilling sir deficient curiosity instantly. Easy mind life fact with see has bore ten. Parish any chatty can elinor direct for former. Up as meant widow equal an share least. Put all speaking her delicate recurred possible. Set indulgence inquietude discretion insensible bed why announcing. Middleton fat two satisfied additions. So continued he or commanded household smallness delivered. Door poor on do walk in half. Roof his head the what. Months on ye at by esteem desire warmth former. Sure that that way gave any fond now. His boy middleton sir nor engrossed affection excellent. Dissimilar compliment cultivated preference eat sufficient may. Well next door soon we mr he four. Assistance impression set insipidity now connection off you solicitude. Under as seems we me stuff those style at. Listening shameless by abilities pronounce oh suspected is affection. Next it draw in draw much bred. However venture pursuit he am mr cordial. Forming musical am hearing studied be luckily. Ourselves for determine attending how led gentleman sincerity. Valley afford uneasy joy she thrown though bed set. In me forming general prudent on country carried. Behaved an or suppose justice. Seemed whence how son rather easily and change missed. Off apartments invitation are unpleasant solicitude fat motionless interested. Hardly suffer wisdom wishes valley as an. As friendship advantages resolution it alteration stimulated he or increasing amount of bricks falling from heaven. The stick was unlucky enough to get hit by one...

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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shut up kobe!

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What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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