Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call white trash Garbage

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is 1+1? It's 2!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops