What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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aa

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Where's the dick??? east

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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