Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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You all have Aids

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

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breasts

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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