What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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42

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What did the cow say to the farmer? moo

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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roses are red violets are blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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