Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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my mind's eye?

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops