Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Vaginal secretions

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Y

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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