Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

how bout that airplane foood!!!1

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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