What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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Who invented apple? God

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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