What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Knock, Knock No one was home.

Bob Saget

If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

People with cancer.

what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

There was once a man with a penis so huge, his girlfriend liked their sexual experiences very much. A year later they got married and had kids, however the man got fired from his accounting job and it all went downhill.

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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