Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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Religion.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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