Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black Decepticon? Niggatron. What Pokemon is black? Niggachu. What lives in the sewers, eats pizza and is black? Teenage Mutant Nigga Turtles. What is Disney's most racist children's book? Winnie the Pooh and Nigger Too.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops