What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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www.hurr-durr.com

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I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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