Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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roses are red violets are black lewis norris has a fucking narra back

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops