Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

thumb_up thumb_down -18

On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

2 Penises

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops