what goes woof ? A dog.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops