A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Womens rights

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops