- Anti Joke

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops