A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Face Hunter is scum

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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what's white and sticky semen

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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