What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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A man buys a prius

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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H o m o comes out as homo

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what is the color of a burp burple

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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