Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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drew edminstin is a rat

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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Julian Ha.

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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69

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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