Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

What's round and orangey? An orange.

The Labour Party.

Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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