Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Hey I'm You're mother..... Haha Jk you're adopted

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

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What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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Skrillex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops