What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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Neil Lewis

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Penis.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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2 Penises

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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im not food

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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