How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops