How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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guess what chicken butt

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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