what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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hi

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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all hail based mark

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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