there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

The joke below is absolute shit.

How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

what do u call a apple a apple

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

Miscarriages.

How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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