Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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your mom died.

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Miscarriages.

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops