Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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I like Pi. It can make circles.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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WILLY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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