I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

whats it called when you see a ton of white people running down a hill.... an avalanch whats it called when you see a ton of black people running down a hill.....a mud slide whats it called when you see a ton of mexicans running down a hill............ a jail break

Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

How do you make a little girl cry?

"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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