A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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adele is so fat that when shes on a plane she makes the skyfall

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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24

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

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KILL WHITEY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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