Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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There is something in my butt what is It. My thong

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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Pain Olympics.

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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