Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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There is something in my butt what is It. My thong

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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