How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Women's rights

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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