I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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robin, get in the car.

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tim has no humor

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

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Dislike this.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Well you see....

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what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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