Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

Stop Iran! We need the money.

What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Oh s***

Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

Your grandma's cookies.

My kids are mistakes.

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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