CHORGLUND

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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