Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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whats chinese noodles

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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