Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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