2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

Andrew's a bald wankstain.

What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

A man killed himself.

What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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