knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

Horse with a chair on his head.

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

Ebola

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...