- Anti Joke

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- slam

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends Plot Twist It was a dream He has no friends.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

A person from Singapore eats

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

Women's rights.

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

69

If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends Plot Twist It was a dream He has no friends.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

VaginaBoob ^.^

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

A person from Singapore eats

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

Women's rights.

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

69

If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

VaginaBoob ^.^

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends Plot Twist It was a dream He has no friends.