Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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What's worse than an actual joke on anti-joke.com? Many things. Considering this is only one website among millions on the internet, and it really has no effect on what happens in the world, it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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fduck

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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Moral

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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Seven

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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