What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops