What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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your moms my other ride

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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What do you call a black man walking down the street? Danger Approaching

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops