interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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The Oakland Raiders

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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