What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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