A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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whats my name? Matt

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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field day?

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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