a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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when debbie meets downer

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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How high is a Chinaman

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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want to hear a cheesy joke? ... cheddar

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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